Chibimail EXTRA IV:
Shameless Imitation: The Chibi-Guide to Escaflowne
[by K-hime]
Scene: A cluttered room full of bright sunlight and . . .black luggage?
K: ^.^ Ohayo gozaimasu! Since Jongleur-sama is having trouble with her webhost and I’m finally recuperated from finals, I’m writing this extra-special bonus chibimail to cheer her up!
So here, as promised, is the Chibi-Guide to Escaflowne:
**WARNING: This chibimail contains spoilers. If for whatever reason you do not wish to know things that happen in Escaflowne until you actually SEE the show yourself (author: BAKA!), then DO NOT READ THIS MAIL!**
K: My work is done. ^.^ On to the good stuff.
Narrator: ~ahem~ Escaflowne is an anime for everyone. For the boys, it has:
1. Mecha [screenshot of Escaflowne stomping on the author]
2. Swordfights [screenshot of many fencers chasing the author]
3. And even gore and death [screenshot of--]
K: Hold it, hold it!!
The mail screeches to a halt.
K: That’s it, who’s narrating? ~The curtain is pulled back to reveal Wufei, glaring over his cute little spectacles~ Wufei? I thought you liked me!
Wufei: ~glare~ You said to let Treize have me. Treize!! This is JUSTICE! ~Wufei is promptly fed his own tea and dragged off to be replaced by another narrator~
K: -_-; Okay, move it along.
Narrator 2: For the girls, it has:
1. A female protagonist [screenshot of author in Hitomi’s outfit (yech!)]
2. Mysticism [screeshot of author stuck in one of the creepy visions]
3. Romance and bishounen galore! [screenshot of author getting smooched by--]
K: ~rips the curtain off it’s moorings~ Folken-sama!! Bad! Bad, bad, bad bishounen!
Folken: ~smirks~ Had to move you along somehow.
K: -_-;;; I’ll do it myself. First, the good guys. Hitomi [Hitomi pops onstage, looking cute and confused] is a girl from Earth with the power to see the future in visions. Van Fanel [Van also pops in, trying to edge away from Hitomi] appears on Earth in a pillar of light while he fights a dragon. Hitomi [now edging closer to Van with a big smile] immediately drops the upperclassman she had a crush on, Amano, to follow Van off to Gaea. But we don’t care, since she finds his blond identical twin brother later.
They get back to Van’s kingdom Fanelia, he’s crowned king, then invisible mecha attacks and the whole place goes up in smoke. ~maniacal laughter is heard from off-stage~ No, he comes later. Anyway, Van and Hitomi get beamed up again [Van is struggling as Hitomi has a death-grip on his arm], and when they come to, they’re in Austuria, meeting Allen Schezar (yes, that's the twin brother. Even the same voice actor).
Allen: ~blinding smile~ Hello, I’m Allen Schezar. I’m one of the twelve Celestial Knights of Asturia. I enjoy fencing, fighting in my Guymelef Scheherezade, and of course–
K: Chasing after girls.
Allen: I was going to say romance. ~sniff~
K: Allen, I’m trying to narrate here. Can I at least get main characters introduced.
Allen: ~tosses his hair~ Fine.
K: Yes, Allen goes after Hitomi like a wolf scenting blood. He even kisses her (on the cheek, hentai!). This is where we can enter some bad guys. Allen, if you would?
Allen: ~winces but opens a steel door~
Dilandau: ~strolls in~ About time, Allen.
K: Dilandau is the leader of a group called the Dragonslayers. They’re the ones in the invisible mecha that attacked Fanelia and then Allen’s fort. They do this all trying to get Escaflowne, this special mecha of Van’s, for Emperor Dornkirk, the head bad-guy of them all in Zaibach. Dilandau is an insane, bloodthirsty lil’ tyke at fifteen (Van and Hitomi’s age), and has a fixation with Allen from the start, then Van, and even later Hitomi.
**SPOILER**
Dilandau: But that’s all better, isn’t it, onii-chan? ~glomps Allen~
K: Yes, the reason Dil is so bishounen is that he used to be Allen’s long-lost little sister. She was kidnapped by Zaibach, tortured, and experimented on until they "changed her fate" and made her a him. At some point he actually turns back into Celena in stressful moments, but I haven’t seen that yet and don’t want to. I like the demented pyromaniac better.
Dilandau: ~excited at getting to say his favorite lines~ Moero! MOEROOOOOO!! ~Dilandau is promptly sent outside to wreak havoc where it won’t set the furniture on fire~
K: And yes, his mecha is pink. It shoots fire, too. Don’tcha love it?
Folken: ~impatient, taps his foot~
K: And now the best part! Folken-sama!!!
Folken: ~pose~
K: Folken-sama is the head guy under Dornkirk. He even has authority over Dilandau. He gets the coolest music, too, even though he doesn’t get a song with Van like Nakata Joji wanted [shot of Nakata-sama, the voice actor].
**SPOILER**
[Folken manages to grab Van as he goes flying past and pry Hitomi off with a crowbar, tossing her over the horizon]
K: Folken Strategos is actually Folken Lakur de Fanel, Van’s older brother. When Folken was fifteen (Van was five), he was sent to slay a dragon in the rite to become king. The dragon tore his right arm off, but then stopped instead of killing him.
[Folken goes all dark and angsty again]
K: ~eyeing Folken with concern~ Dornkirk found him and saved him, but Folken views himself as a monster because of the mechanical arm his was replaced with. He goes around in the sorcerer’s robes over his armor, and you almost never see his right arm. In the fifth episode, Van gets captured and Folken is watching over him,whistling. Then he tries to convince Van to join with him and serve Dornkirk. When Van is not looking compliant (he thought Folken was dead instead of a traitor), Folken knocks him out with a drugged needle hidden in one of his fingers.
[Folken tosses the suddenly limp Van through a portal back to the pocket dimension]
K: In the end, Folken-sama ~sniff~ DIES ~sob sob~ but I haven’t seen that part yet, and bishounen are indestructible, so I can have a Folken-sama of my very own.
[Folken still looks very dark and angsty, staring at his mechanical arm]
K: ~looking worried~ And . . .that’s it for now, Jongleur-sama, ‘cause I ahve to go feed the chibis before Zechs revolts against babysitting, and I have to pull Folken-sama out of the screenshots. Bye!
Fadeout as K-hime goes to comfort Folken, and the sneaky bugger breaks his angst pose and glomps her. "FOLKEN-SAMA!! Your hand doesn’t go there! Bad bishounen!"]
K-hime may be found herein.
[There may yet be more. Be afraid. Be very afraid.]