Avernus

I just felt I had to share this little gem from the first editorial of volume 2 of Aquaman, from 1992:

'It's time for a hero of the '90s. It's time for Aquaman.'

And never was a truer words spoken. Dork dork dork dork dork.

I love Aquaman far more than is healthy considering how crap it is ^___^ As a bonus, let me throw in some Aquaman Hostess cakes adverts.

'I wouldn't read this comic again if it was tatooed on Lynda Carter's breasts. If you can get through it without crying, that's a way better super power than talking to fish. But so is being able to touch your toes.'

'Christ, Aquaman makes it embarrassing to be a fish. He's a total tool.'

'Thanks for your input Mera. "A meteor from another planet?!" Yeah. That could be. It could also be a flying pony or a magic underwater taco in a bowtie. Why don't you shut your idiot mouth and look? Or better yet, go try to find an Aqua-Radar that does more than flash non-descriptive strobe lights whenever something is nearby. You people might as well be talking to Lassie or those giant pink seahorses you're humping.'

'Don't mess with Aquaman. If you start destroying his ocean, he'll feed you snacks and leave. I think it matters how much you destroy, though. Those purple guys were using dynamite, so they got Twinkies. I peed on him off a boat, and all he did was toss me a half-eaten tootsie roll. When Dr. Doom set off a nuclear warhead and started an underwater volcanic eruption, Aquaman punished him by sending a six foot party sub and a birthday cake.' 'It's true. The aquafool gave me a series of delicious gifts when I destroyed his pathetic underwater city. Doom admits his confusion.'