Maladjusted Jester

sung by Danny Kaye in 'The Court Jester' (1956)

When I was a lad, I was gloomy and sad
as I was from the day I was born!
When other babes giggled and gurgled and wiggled
I proudly was loudly forlorn!
My friends and my family looked at me clammily,
thought there was something amiss!
When others found various antics hilarious,
all I could manage was this!

Or this! (makes face)

Or this! (makes face)

Or this! (mock crying)

My father, he shouted: 'He needs to be clouted.
His teeth on a wreath I'll hand him!'
My mother she cried as she rushed to my side:
'You're a brute! and you don't understand him!'
So they sent for a witch with a terrible twitch
to ask how my future impressed her.
She took one look at me and cried he... hee hee he he -- he?
What else could he be but a jester?
A jester? A jester? A funny idea, a jester!
No butcher, no baker, no candlestick maker
and me with the look of a fine undertaker impressed her... as a jester?

But where could I learn any comical turn that was not in a book
on the shelf?
No teacher to take me to mold me and make me a merry mad fool
or an elf!

But I'm proud to recall that in no time at all
with no other recourses but my own resources
with firm application and determination...
I made a fool of myself!

I found a bow and arrow and I learned to shoot.
I found a little horn and I learned to too.
Now I can shoot and toot, ain't I cute? (raspberry)

I started to travel to try to unravel my mind
and to find a new chance;
When I got to Spain it was suddenly plain that
the field that appeared was to dance!
The Spanish were clannish but I wouldn't vanish
and learned every step they had planned
The first step of all wasn't hard to recall
cos the first step of all is to stand!

And stand!

And stand!

And stand!

Rodriguez! (Spanish)

(Instrumental, sight gags)


More instrumental

I was (???), but the King was amused
and before his siesta he made me his jester
And I found out soon that to be a buffoon
was a serious thing as a rule;
For a jester's chief employment
Is to kill himself for your enjoyment
And a jester unemployed is nobody's fool!

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